"body ache and soul surrender"

"body ache and soul surrender"
for anyone who physically or emotionally suffers
~L. Page

body ache and soul surrender
having waked with shortened breath
and head again against the wall
just leaning cuz i can't stand tall

the cycle of a healthy life
subsisting from day to day
with self's demands that all be well
as if i deserve anything else but hell

so tempted with a weakened countenance
to complain in suffering
even though i know so many
who of heavy loads are wearied
and heavier than mine and yet
my soul seems quickened to forget

and there in view before my face
a glowing orb, tempting and taunting
me to rail against God's grace
because it isn't what i'm wanting

the stamina of my limbs has failed me
but this day despite my crying
if nothing else i can still pray Thee
take my soul by ache and dying
so i'll not be found to stray from Thee,
my Beloved, steal away my whying

put Thee before my straining eyes
as my cheeks into them press
and my lips are parched and drying
and my cough from my lungs robs breath

put Thee before my longing heart
as my body aches and tosses
and my mind is lost in drosses
and my soul surrenders losses

fix my eyes on my Beloved
to hold by gaze in all timing
give me pause so i'll not falter
into droning selfish whining

for i have tasted and savored
of the goodness of my Savior
and i can feel when i am weak
that my sin still abides in me
and rears its ugly head to speak
even when my soul's enemy
is far away, i've yet this betrayer
in my own heart, for i'm not meek

this body owes me no pleasures
so if each cell must be consumed
i pray Thee, make my heart Thy treasure
having all my mind subsumed
make Thy grace in me to bloom

(c) 2008 Leah Randelle